baring care
examining how differences in memory and encoding demonstrate care
I have read a lot of media lately about neurodiversity, ADHD in particular, being a result of trauma. This post is about exploring what this means to me, and it is not a finished, polished product. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) begin with a traumatic event that manifests through psychological symptoms, resulting in neurological changes. This puts PTSD and CPTSD in a gray area. It is both psychiatric and biological. I am not a trained mental health professional or a medical doctor, so please correct me in the comments if this understanding is inaccurate.
The discourse surrounding ADHD is a result of trauma (physical or mental) f@cks with me. It gives me hope that some of the challenges I experience from neurological differences might go away someday, but only with hard work. There is a possibility that the nearly 50 years of consciousness I have spent encoding sensory systems data through deep introspection is due to some hidden trauma I have yet to uncover. If I could examine myself more thoroughly, I would find a box tucked away in the recesses of my mind, and if I opened it, I would set myself free from the challenges of neurodiversity. That somehow, my neurocomplexity is my own failing to process an event that is holding me here.
The truth is, I know this isn’t my experience. On some levels, I have always been different. One of my earliest memories is being three years old in preschool and being made fun of for the way I drank from the drinking fountain, the way I played games, the way I talked, and the things I talked about. I can remember feeling confused about what I was supposed to be doing. And I remember the relief when we had quiet time to rest, and I could process all the information my sensory system was taking in. I have always been a weirdo, and I plan to stay that way.
I think we all hope our challenges will be taken away. And for some of us, that hope is strong enough to motivate us to exhaust all possibilities. At this stage in life, I aim to move through my feelings and not around them. But for me, it is time to stop searching for clarity, for seeking a bit of knowledge that could explain everything, to ease the near-paralyzing introspection, because, as far as I can tell, some things are still unexplainable. While there are a lot of things that I share with others (or have parallel experiences), my inner world is unique to me, and it is time to share more of that with the world in a way that integrates who I am instead of trying to fit a mold that has never and will never fit.
That all being said, I do find neurological differences fascinating and beautiful. I think it is one of the raddest things about being human. I LOVE that we have different sensory experiences and can walk away from the same event with different encoded meanings. WOW! So cool. In this post, I want to explore how differences in encoding and memory influence how we demonstrate care.
memory and encoding
From my diagnosis: “Shauna likely struggles with differences in executive functioning, particularly in areas of shifting, initiating, working memory, task-monitoring, and inhibition.” This means I struggle to start new tasks, remember how to do them, and retain what I have learned, such as step-by-step instructions. It also means that I can be the funnest person in the room because I am more likely to skip tasks (that I can’t remember how to do, so I need to relearn them to complete them, which is overwhelming) for a more pleasurable activity. In the past, this would often be whatever was at hand, be it a shot of tequila, a sexy person, or pushing the physical limits of safety by challenging gravity in some way. Today, I know how to regulate myself, align necessary tasks with my nervous system, and accept when I am unable to accomplish a task within a desired timeframe. Most of the time. It is a practice.
My neuropsychiatrist offered some suggestions to help me with memory and encoding information. To enhance memory retention, it is important to limit distractions during visual learning, allow extra encoding time, present verbal information within context, utilize written lists and memory techniques, and maintain a slower pace with less extraneous information, especially when navigating (I get lost all of the time), as these factors help coordinate cognitive functions effectively.
I have tried to adopt these activities to help me encode information, and understanding how it all works also helps me stay engaged. Knowing why and how neurology, encoding, and memory are tied together makes me feel like I am solving a puzzle, which offers a small dopamine reward. Encoding is how we make sense of sensory input to remember external information. We seek meaning to remember and retrieve information about the world and the people around us. We use all of our senses to take in and process information, and this varies in how it functions. It is truly remarkable.
I have become more curious about the encoding process as I have learned more about memory and how we make sense of the world. I want to explore how neurodiverse nervous systems use sensory systems to remember information and compensate for short-term and working memory challenges. This is the very beginning of this journey for me, and I welcome any thoughts and connections to research in neurodiverse encoding in the comments.
Sensory memory, or how we remember sensations, is iconic (visual), echoic (auditory), haptic (touch), olfactory (odors), and gustatory (taste) input.1 Each sense memory is stored in its own location in the brain. Memory is created by taking sensory inputs and attaching meaning to them through encoding. There are six types of encoding: visual, semantic, acoustic, elaborative, tactile, and organizational (grouping).2 Elaborative encoding is the construction of knowledge by attaching sensory input to existing knowledge and supports facilitating memory recall, solving puzzles, analysis, and communication.3 This type of encoding can include recalling familiar places (like your home), which demonstrates why having a deep sensory knowledge of spaces can support this type of encoding. Semantic encoding is a cognitive process that connects meanings or ideas to memories to help retain information and enhance understanding of context, as opposed to an auditory or visual memory, and is how most neurotypical people create meaning.4
Neurodiverse people experience sensory differences.5 Neurology can involve differences in processing speed, memory, and encoding, so neurocomplex nervous systems can differ in how they encode information. While I lack scientific evidence to back this up, I believe I encode knowledge through multiple sensory experiences to better crystallize it, to compensate for processing speed delays and disorders. To apply information to working and long-term memory, my neurology encodes multiple sensory experiences, which improves my ability to retrieve and use them in the future. It is A LOT! It is slower. It requires attention to detail that many people without a neurology designed to sense it miss out on, and it is not a choice.
This is how I am able to encode and construct knowledge in a way that compensates for a neurological system that does not support working memory and other executive functions in everyday life. My neurology and sensory systems have adapted to help me succeed. In practice, this looks like incorporating multiple modalities, writing notes, recording them, and listening to them while I exercise, to help my working memory pull knowledge when it is needed because it is so deeply ingrained. This means I need to understand things deeply, and that is where I get into trouble.
Understanding things deeply means asking questions and seeking more sensory input to fully grasp an experience. For example, what the air feels like in different institutions, the lighting, the smells, and access to food are all part of understanding something. This type of inquiry can make people feel uncomfortable because it feels irrelevant to their way of constructing knowledge (typically semantic encoding) and can feel like a challenge to their way of understanding. It can also look like connecting things that others do not see as connected.
encoding differences and showing care
Ironically, paying this much attention looks like not paying attention. Little details that are not sensory based are hard to integrate into knowledge. No one ever writes history about whether a period was in the correct place, unless you are Edward Tufte. I can overlook things that others might consider important because my neurology is encoding different things. In turn, this means that I may show caring in ways that others miss. The idea that neurodiversity results in ‘careless’ acts is so deeply upsetting to me that my neuropsychiatrist noted my distress about the use of the word in my diagnosis. Different neurology can mean different ways of demonstrating care.
If I find the sun harsh, providing shade shows I care. Collecting and sharing rocks that speak to me demonstrates that I am thinking about someone while wandering in nature, and finding a small object to contain that connection and sharing it is an act of love. Creating recipes and designing meals with the beloved few in my life means I have thought of them from beginning to end, envisioning us together around my table, sharing the experience. Finding records together means I get to think of you every time I put the album on because I will remember how I got it with you. I will remember if the day was sunny, what made you smile, and how I felt in my body.
I can connect nearly every object in my home to a person who was part of the process of obtaining it, and to the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings I experienced in those moments. Those mugs I have for coffee and tea (yes, of course they are different), the sterling silver spoon I use to stir my drinks, the decades old Pampered Chef I traded massages for, all of it has a story that I carry with me. My home, my world, is rich with sensory experiences. And that is a gift I never want to give away.
I think this is why neurodiverse people find joy in parallel activities. We get to share the sensory experiences with someone else. We don’t need to rely on verbal communication because all the other senses are overflowing with meaning. Sharing our favorite tea and good orange means I want to share that joy with you. And my hope is that you and I will feel the beauty in the sensory experiences together.
Because I feel all of it all the time, it is challenging for me to show caring by gifting an object that is not connected to anything. Since I do not understand how others process sensory experiences, I have a hard time knowing what objects or experiences others may find meaningful. But by sharing something that connects us in some way, I hope others can feel the full sensory experience of what I share. Or even the essence of it.
Often, my acts of caring feel like a guessing game for me. A lot of people cherish verbal caring and validation, the one that is most challenging for me. The one that gets lost in a processing delay, and the one that I struggle to encode as knowledge without attaching it to another sensory experience. I cannot process what people are saying without attaching it to another sensory experience, to what I am sensing in the moment.
This also means it is hard for me to know what the ‘key points’ or ‘takeaways’ are for others in media, texts, or meetings, and my ideas rarely match theirs. The idea of a right or wrong answer, of one way of being, often makes me feel my perception is the ‘wrong one’ because most others’ perceptions match. This is one of life’s biggest mysteries for me.
On the outside, this can sound controlling, picky, or too much. Like, I cannot just accept words for what they are. That my not seeing things the way others do is a conscious act of being stubborn, bullish, or otherwise noncompliant. But for me, in order for words to have meaning, the rest of the environment matters. Actions matter. It is all tied together in ways that I am unable to separate. I cannot hear words of endearment if I feel threatened, I cannot feel supported if I live in a world that denies basic necessities to others, and I cannot feel one thing without feeling everything. For me, it is not separate. It is all one.
That being said, out of necessity for survival, I have learned to create spaces that feel safer, to set boundaries with individuals, and to advocate for myself instead of assuming everyone else is feeling what I am and that it is “normal.” It is just now, post diagnosis, learning to unmask, that I am beginning to understand what it must be like to make sense of the world primarily using semantic knowledge.
Not knowing how I should perform and demonstrate caring to others does not make me careless. Missing things others do not miss does not mean I am careless. I care deeply about everything and how it all fits together. I care about you, too, even if I don’t know you.
being shauna serves as an olive branch to myself and the world as I come to understand myself as a late-diagnosed (at 47) neurodiverse woman. I welcome the complexities and frustrations that come with neurodiversity, as well as the joy, abundance, creativity, and the novel that come with learning to unmask. I am learning to set aside the armor I carry when I feel supported and safe to authentically connect with others. I am sharing my experience because the online neurodivergent community has shared so much knowledge that has guided me, and I want to contribute and be part of that community. My experience may not be representative of others’ experiences.
Chris Drew, “10 Sensory Memory Examples (2023),” Helpful Professor, (June 8, 2023), https://helpfulprofessor.com/sensory-memory-examples/
Chris Drew, “The Six Types of Encoding (Psychology of Memory) (2023),” Helpful Professor, March 29, 2023, https://helpfulprofessor.com/types-of-encoding/
Chris Drew, “Elaborative Encoding: 10 Examples & Definition (2023),” Helpful Professor (blog), March 29, 2023, https://helpfulprofessor.com/elaborative-encoding/
Chris Drew, “Semantic Encoding: 10 Examples and Definition (2026),” Helpful Professor (blog), September 21, 2023, https://helpfulprofessor.com/semantic-encoding/.
I like how Bridgette Hamstead talks about neurodivergent sensory experiences here: Bridgette Hamstead, “The Sensorium of Justice: How Sensory Awareness Becomes Political,” NeuroJusticeTM (blog), October 28, 2025, https://bridgettehamstead.substack.com/p/the-sensorium-of-justice-how-sensory?utm_source=publication-search.